During a visit my older brother concluded a conversation by observing that life is about choices, some good, some bad. I recall a Sunday school teacher telling us a half-century ago we have choices to make about Jesus, jobs and partners. My view is that with all the choices we adults make, we are in essence creating a blend of two opposing possibilities, self-destruction and self-realization.

We can achieve self-destruction either by trying to fill the void or by simply giving up; and the choices are easy. In fact, because collectively we are predominantly trying to fill the void, individually we don't even have to make that choice. We can just follow by default. It seems that we do have an innate 'program' designed for self-realization we must ignore, but it offers little resistance to the onslaught of seductive externals with which we try to fill the void. In giving up we are so crushed by the oppressive effort to fill the void, here too our 'program' can not resist our choice.

Though apparently programmed to reach out to the limits of our capacities, to others , and to G0d, choosing to is so much more difficult than choosing either path to self-destruction. Not only are there just internal "rewards" for choosing the path of self-realization, we must "reach out..." against the weight of the blend that is dominated by trying to fill the void.

The fact that we have not yet achieved complete self-destruction is evidence of some self-realization in our blend; and despite the degree of difficulty, we can each choose to add more. One person's choice can not have much of an effect, but the more of us that try to increase our "reaching out..." the easier it becomes as we change our collective blend. Even if we were to change our blend to the point self-realization dominates, "reaching out..." would still be the most difficult choice. However, the rewards more than equal the effort. At the very least our choice will prevent our self-destruction.
(see poem)