Mom had one of her occasional sad attacks today. I should have known it was coming. Only reluctantly did she come outside and when she did she immediately asked for the broom. She swept and swept and swept but it was no use. She could not sweep the tears away. Can you believe she apologized for the attack?

I hugged her. That usually helps because mom does not like to be hugged. I guess she figures if she quits crying I'll quit hugging. It is only recently she agreed to a morning hug but if we miss it, too bad.

I always ask her what she was thinking. It's been a long time since she's mentioned all the things she had but now has nothing. I used to tell her she had me and she always laughed...I'm not sure why. Maybe by laughing she didn't have to explain that's what she meant by nothing. Through tears about the time of a grandson's wedding mom managed to get out "baby" and "now married". Of course, she has mourned the loss of dad.

Most often now mom just says I don't know. I can only guess that while she would like to have a more acceptable reason for the tears, it is likely they are her way of saying being old simply sucks. It makes me cry too thinking  of all the moms and dads who, because of the way their children live, have to be old alone.